Hi, folks. It's been a while, hasn't it? If you saw my shop announcement last week, you know where I've been. But in case you didn't, allow me to explain.
My grandfather died rather suddenly about two weeks ago. He had been ill for some time - COPD and emphysema - and lately he had gotten worse. I was trying to arrange a visit, but not rushing too much about it in the hopes that he would improve enough to leave the hospital and I could visit him while he was home. And then I got a phone call from my mother informing me that his heart was in bad shape and they were going to try a rather risky procedure the following morning to fix it. But there was a good chance he wouldn't survive the operation.
I spent the rest of the evening frantically searching for a way to get there that morning. I thought I could just catch a late flight. Nope. There weren't any. Anywhere. Everyone stopped flying at 10:00. It was already almost 9:00 and it would take 2 hours to get to the airport. Flying was out. And I fared no better with my other transportation options. The bus didn't leave until 11:00 am. The train would take 2 days to get there.
I called my mother back and she informed me that they'd postponed the procedure until the afternoon. We were both much relieved. Obviously, things were not quite as dire as we had initially feared. I had someone willing to drive me halfway in the morning, and a friend willing to pick me up at the halfway point and bring me the rest of the way. It had all worked out nicely. So I finally ate something and relaxed a bit.
Just a few hours later, I got another call. They were doing CPR. His heart had stopped. I can't say I was devastated because, at that point, I still had hope. He had always had a way of pulling through.
I don't remember falling asleep after that, but I must have because I woke up at around 3:00 am and groggily answered the phone. My mother told me to go back to sleep and not worry. He went peacefully and he was resting now.
I cried for a while, cursed myself for not getting there in time, and then suddenly, the pain in my chest eased up, the tears stopped, and I felt this sudden, strange peace. This happened several times over the next week, and strange as it may sound, I can't help but think it was him, wrapping his arms around me and comforting me, just as he always did.
I went ahead with my plan to drive up the following day and spent about a week there making preparations and attending the services and then (the hardest part) coping with the calm that comes after when there's nothing left to do, to keep you busy and keep your mind off things, and you finally have to really face it.
I've taken my time with things since I got home, trying to stay relaxed and not stress myself out by trying to do 150 things all at once like I usually do. So my postings here will likely continue to be erratic for a bit.
I've missed you all, my dear crafty friends, and I hope you're all doing well. Now do me a favor. Go grab your nearest loved one and give them a big, big hug. Hold them close. Tell them you love them. Make the most of every moment you have.
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